My mother...what can I say about that woman? Well, I would start off by saying that I am grateful she is playing in the role she is. She is a beautiful light and a beautiful dark for me. When i see her listening to music, dancing to music, singing to the music, laughing out loud...I see the glow that my father fell in love with. The glow that ultimately, made me :). She is the wondrous mind chatter that I all too often fall into throughout the delusional parts of the day. The reflection on my soul when she tells me she's worried, she's tired, or she just needs a good warm hug. My truth is my mother. And I love her dearly.
And as much as I love her, she will continuously be asking me the "motherly" questions that all mothers ask as they play the role of their time.
Today she asked me, in less words: "Do you know what you want to be yet when you grow up? Will you ever go back to school? Please go back to school..."
She didn't say it that literally, but I'm her daughter, I pick up on these things.
Well, I told her...I'm building my character right now. I thought that was pretty clever. And rightfully so! I do feel like I am learning a ton about who I am, thanks to my awkward, wondrously chaotic and exhausting relationship with my boyfriend. I feel the need to travel and explore. I am in the midst of this changing "New Earth" that is forever changing and becoming new again. And i want to celebrate! I have a strong cosmic desire to travel abroad and to see new faces, new scenery, new culture....and as new as they all may seem, they will all be angel friends that I will remember all over again.
I did go to university straight outta h-school. (I just felt like being "G" just now...using "straight outta" does that to you) Anyway, I went for 2 and a half years in aspirations of becoming a teacher. And while doing so I began to remember who I am....I began to recognize my essence, become aware of what it means to be conscious....and I realized that I already was a teacher. That I have been this whole time! That i'm a student as well in this thing we call Life, and that there are so many other teachers and students that I've been blessed and continue to meet.
And so...i'm writing papers...i hear professors telling me "the deadline for this is in three weeks. You'd better get started now"...i experience the clouded mornings of my late night paper rendezvous' and the heavy sighs as another professor tells me, "you need to be more CLEAR in your paper, what are you trying to say EXACTLY? Use the format correctly. Are you using the format correctly? You need to follow the standards. You need to be more CLEAR."
So wait a tick....you want me to "flourish in the creativity that is university English writing" ...yet you want me to follow a strict format, a strict guideline and play within these little boxes. Oh yeah, and make sure you are "clear." Clear according to whom exactly? According to "university standards?" According to your one minded perspective? According to all of the Gods that decided this is what a university English paper should look like. And it should always stay that way. No matter what.
Well, reality check: We are the Gods.
We have created this whole game of "university" everything's ...this whole game of Life. And we have the power to change it. Since, ultimately, it's created by humans (who are spirits really) and since it has been created by Us, it can be changed by Us as well. We all just have to agree upon the change. And that's where the blessing/challenge comes in.
And so, after some humble frustration, I decided that the university game was one I was not about to endeavor just yet. I feel the need to create and flourish in other things. Such as remembering to breathe throughout the day. Smiling genuinely at the cashier who tells me "have a nice day"...to thoroughly enjoy the Plucot's that I just purchased today. (When a plum and an apricot make love).
I feel the need to explore the world at new levels of myself and of everyone else. And I feel the need to express that in any beautiful way I can. Will that become a career? A full paying "job?" I can guarantee it.
Let us embrace this game of Love. Let us play joyfully with one another and respect the Gods that we are. Let us give a thorough high five to our moms. And thank them for their continuous motherly questions. She gives me the blessing already as she asks/bombards me with the question, as within the question, lies the answer already. And this is it.
Love to you all <3
And as much as I love her, she will continuously be asking me the "motherly" questions that all mothers ask as they play the role of their time.
Today she asked me, in less words: "Do you know what you want to be yet when you grow up? Will you ever go back to school? Please go back to school..."
She didn't say it that literally, but I'm her daughter, I pick up on these things.
Well, I told her...I'm building my character right now. I thought that was pretty clever. And rightfully so! I do feel like I am learning a ton about who I am, thanks to my awkward, wondrously chaotic and exhausting relationship with my boyfriend. I feel the need to travel and explore. I am in the midst of this changing "New Earth" that is forever changing and becoming new again. And i want to celebrate! I have a strong cosmic desire to travel abroad and to see new faces, new scenery, new culture....and as new as they all may seem, they will all be angel friends that I will remember all over again.
I did go to university straight outta h-school. (I just felt like being "G" just now...using "straight outta" does that to you) Anyway, I went for 2 and a half years in aspirations of becoming a teacher. And while doing so I began to remember who I am....I began to recognize my essence, become aware of what it means to be conscious....and I realized that I already was a teacher. That I have been this whole time! That i'm a student as well in this thing we call Life, and that there are so many other teachers and students that I've been blessed and continue to meet.
And so...i'm writing papers...i hear professors telling me "the deadline for this is in three weeks. You'd better get started now"...i experience the clouded mornings of my late night paper rendezvous' and the heavy sighs as another professor tells me, "you need to be more CLEAR in your paper, what are you trying to say EXACTLY? Use the format correctly. Are you using the format correctly? You need to follow the standards. You need to be more CLEAR."
So wait a tick....you want me to "flourish in the creativity that is university English writing" ...yet you want me to follow a strict format, a strict guideline and play within these little boxes. Oh yeah, and make sure you are "clear." Clear according to whom exactly? According to "university standards?" According to your one minded perspective? According to all of the Gods that decided this is what a university English paper should look like. And it should always stay that way. No matter what.
Well, reality check: We are the Gods.
We have created this whole game of "university" everything's ...this whole game of Life. And we have the power to change it. Since, ultimately, it's created by humans (who are spirits really) and since it has been created by Us, it can be changed by Us as well. We all just have to agree upon the change. And that's where the blessing/challenge comes in.
And so, after some humble frustration, I decided that the university game was one I was not about to endeavor just yet. I feel the need to create and flourish in other things. Such as remembering to breathe throughout the day. Smiling genuinely at the cashier who tells me "have a nice day"...to thoroughly enjoy the Plucot's that I just purchased today. (When a plum and an apricot make love).
I feel the need to explore the world at new levels of myself and of everyone else. And I feel the need to express that in any beautiful way I can. Will that become a career? A full paying "job?" I can guarantee it.
Let us embrace this game of Love. Let us play joyfully with one another and respect the Gods that we are. Let us give a thorough high five to our moms. And thank them for their continuous motherly questions. She gives me the blessing already as she asks/bombards me with the question, as within the question, lies the answer already. And this is it.
Love to you all <3
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