We're All In This Together

Quite often as human beings equipped with an ego and its endless mind chatter, we miss the opportunity to become aware and present. That is, to be alive and in tune with our moment that is our everything. We get up, we make our breakfast, we brush our teeth, we get ready for our day ahead. We forget in the mundane routine of it all, that it's the little things that will run across the memory reel in our heads, as we lay them down to sleep on our death beds. When this vessel of a body ceases to serve us no more, we will remember the love we gave and the love we received. The shared moments of inspiration and enlightenment, of hope and encouragement. The timeless moments of first kisses and stolen glances from strangers and loved ones alike. The laughter and giggles of children that we may nurture or the ones that we are blessed to be surrounded by. That time you remembered what it felt like to fall in love with your reflection, the feeling of being proud of yourself for all you have accomplished. For knowing that who you are is of a worthy title and an existence that inspires your bloodline ahead. I know that before that day comes, today I have a choice. I am able and breathing to love and inspire and I plan on doing so in any way I can.
Today was one such day.
In between the craziness of holding two jobs and keeping creatively in tune with music, I too, remember the little things. One of those simple pleasures that I like to grant myself with is getting my nails done. I find it utterly fascinating and fun to be a woman. The trying on of different clothes that play up the shape of our bodies, or perhaps enjoying what it feels like to dance in our room with no clothes on at all, the lotions and perfumes to accent the sweetness of our skin, the mysteries lying beneath the lines of makeup we play with on our face. I love how playful and fun it can be! It feels very much in my nature to be feminine. And because of this, I fancy getting my nails done from time to time.
So today I decided I would go to a different salon than I normally go to. A lovely Vietnamese lady began helping me choose nail colours and so forth, and as soon as I sat down I knew that going to this new salon was for a reason. She began opening up to me about her life story and all that she has endured. She is a single mother raising three teenage children on her own. She explained to me how money is very tight for her when trying to raise a family by herself, and that she just began classes at a college in order to get a better paying job. She told me how she is nervous and scared because she is a first generation immigrant from Vietnam and her English isn't very good. She said she just hopes that she can pass the bare minimum atleast on her college exams, so that she can get a better job to support her family. She said that her kids are her everything and she has to do this for them and for herself.
It wasn't just the words that I heard, it was the strength and the courage in her voice. I could feel all of her emotions; her sadness from the divorce, her resentment and anger from knowing her ex has a new family and life and doesn't care to pay child support, her worry for her children and if they will grow up okay without a father figure, her anxiousness to move forward with her life, her excitement to do something outside of her comfort zone, her hope as every human hopes, that at the end of the day, everything will be alright.
When she finished telling me her story I looked her square in the eye and told her: "Your strength and your courage is incredible. Your kids are smart and they know this and see this. With or without a father, your example is enough for them to be the best they can be, as you are being the best you can be. You are on the right path."
I then went on to tell her that I have an educational background in teaching English as a second language. I would be willing to meet with her to tutor her if she needs help completing her courses, free of charge. She didn't want to accept this and I knew she wanted to re-pay me, so I had an idea and said: "I love Vietnamese food. I'd be happy to accept your cooking as pay!" She laughed and said she would love to cook for me.
While leaving the salon that day, I left her a generous tip and had to give her a long, warm hug. She was in tears and said that God was listening today. It was beautiful and sacred and I felt as though she was right, divine intervention had worked its magic and I knew I had made a new friend.
As I drove to my second job, I reminisced on where I come from; my own family heritage and history. On how my grandparents on my Mother's side were first generation immigrants from Indonesia. How they had very little money, knew very little English and knew almost nothing about the land and culture of Canada. They had nine children to feed, house and clothe, and worked hard for years doing everything from cleaning toilets to sewing clothes to make ends meet. Through all of this they still had this amazing capacity to love and to give. They would open up their small home, barely big enough for the eleven of them, to foster children and orphans who didn't have a home of their own. They would feed people who needed food by cooking bags of rice that they could buy for cheap and handing out bowls of warm rice to feed hungry bellies. My Mom even told me that people used to knock on their door and ask if their house was the Bingo Hall because there'd be so many cars parked outside and love and laughter and music emanated from the inside.
I thought of my Grandpa Moore on my Dad's side and his pioneering instincts. How his family was one of the first family's to settle in the B.C. area due to my Great Grandpa's need for adventure and faith in the world. How he always had very little growing up, but worked hard until the day he died to ensure his future generations would be okay. He even helped my parents build the first house I was born in at the age of 75, where upon my Dad told him it wasn't necessary and he should be resting at his age, but he insisted because he knew building it served an important purpose. If that isn't a Pioneer's Spirit, I don't know what is. My Grandpa also reaped the rewards of his hard work, but he wasn't one to hoard his money. What I remember most of my Grandpa was how much he gave. Whether it be a good cause like a charity of some kind, to a community event, to a family member who was struggling, he was always there with an open hand and wallet; at one point I remember people calling him the "Moore Bank" as he was always writing cheques and giving away his money to people in need.
Although the small act of kindness I experienced today was far and few between the greatness my ancestors have given, that same greatness is instilled in me. It is with the greatest honour that I remember their hard work, their spirit and their capacity to give. I would not have the luxuries I do today, if it weren't for their efforts and perseverance and by luxuries I include a Whole Lotta Love. I can only hope that one day I will be able to give in the same regard as they did, and to inspire those who need it most.
Today I take a step to be at my best, as I know the lady I met is doing the same. Together we walk hand in hand, and we nurture our right to be abundant and happy. Don't forget to look the next person you meet in the eye, and remind them of their beauty. After all, it's in the little things.

Unlocked

More often than not, I think of you.

It's funny how it comes and goes.

But it's always there and it always knows,

we're flying somewhere in space and time

yeah we're together and we rhyme.

And the mind is such a powerful thing

the way it twists and turns

frets and sings

lines upon lines
and into parallels
like a fret board on a guitar.
Is this heaven or is this hell?
I can hear it's a little off she says,
so she fine tunes the off beat keys.
Playing by ear keeps her in focus,
she's kind of thrilled by the tease.
Everyday we're creating and dreaming
up something new.
Do you think of me?
Cuz I think of you.
And all this thinking and wondering
got me goin' a little bit crazy.
But that's okay darling
when it's right it's worth the waiting.
And it's like all these tiny conversations
create this bigger picture in my mind;
and then I get scared and think
is this all an illusion?
In reality are we really blind?
Am I everything I'm cracked up to be?
Are you everything you appear to be?
Are we building something of a catastrophe?
Is this even real to me...
Whoa. That's some mind blasting.
Russell Peters you said it dawg.
I can't even explain, but I'll try my best.
Just then she hears the beat of her heart...
it's deep breaths, deep breaths...
guiding lights, remembering
the music orchestrated in her being.
Yes, you passed the test.
I can see you peeking
around the corners of your box.
It's not like I'm really waiting
I'm just here open and unlocked.
There's no mystery, no fear to be
something unattainable in reality.
Convention keeps us locked in chains
I know the feeling, I know the drain.
Please rest your head, please hold your heart
I'm different than the reason you fell apart.
I've come full circle, I hope you'll see
and moreso that you'll feel,
that love is freedom
and it's realer than real.

Silicone Dreams

Home is where your heart is
but do you feel it beating?
Like a silicone dream has it been covered
tactfully
hiding what is true.
The world influenced by superpower
and its American dream
And calling it a "superpower" to make the rich richer
and the poor
poorer
is beyond me.
We wait for Superman while we bring home the bacon.
My dad was bringing home bacon
My mama was greeting, all smiles, the milkman
I always wondered about the fruit.
All of that labour and no nutrition.
But I carried on sweet cherry pie, and I let me ride
Slow down child you move too fast
With so many dreams to conquer and never enough hours
in one day.
And where I'll find them?
Out West, as stern as my daddy told me.
"Wealth is power" he said
I didn't know 'til now wealth could be anything else than bacon.
And there was no way in hell daddy agreed with the Vegans.
So pigs were slaughtered and daddy brought it home,
while mama washed away spilled milk.
And still she cried.
Home is where the heart is,
that's what they told me
But do you feel it beating?
Or have you learned to adjust to a rhythm
that gets louder,
louder,
louder
until suddenly
it stops.

A Tale of Two Men

I met you in joy
I met you in joy riding

I saw your sparkling eyes
I saw your eyes sparkling

I kissed your sweet lips
I kissed your lingering tongue

You made my heart skip a beat
You beat my heart

You laid your hands on me...
You laid your hands on me.

You said that "no matter what, even without me, it's all about simplicity"
You said that "no matter what, even without me, simple is me."

You knew how to fool around with me, you made me laugh
You knew how to fool around on me, you made me cry

I was walking on sunshine
I was walking on eggshells

I would stay up in the night thinking of you
I would stay up in the night worrying of you

You knew how to get excited with me
You knew how to get irritated with me

When I left, we danced in your car all the way there
When I left, we didn't speak all the way there

You helped me to know love.
You helped me to know love.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Calm Seas

Wanderlust to wonder lust ashes to ashes dust to dust that's what they were
killed for.
Open hands skies are falling
those that feel tend their calling in the field of
wonder.
Flying high learning to soar
away you say
but nothing more
than tasting air upside down and
that's where I turned my frown.
Even though the stream is ever lasting I'll forever sow and be casting
the line of your heartbeat
so that when you bite,
I'll know to reel it in toward mine.
Feeling this real
never
tasted
so
good.

On and On ...

My cipher keeps moving like a rolling stone.

This morning I awoke with a curiously beautiful feeling within my heart. And it was all due to the most wonderful dream. I do usually write down my dreams in my journal, but today, I felt as though it would be more appropriate to blog and let whoever wants to read these words settle within their hearts as well. When I have a wonderful experience, I can't help but want to share it. That is a grand part of our purpose in this journey, is it not?

Before drifting to dream works last night, I was engulfed in emotions of all kinds. Confusion, pains, sadness, curiousity, hopelessness, playfulness, longing, happiness, love. Like a movie reel playing across the top of my third eye, I was watching pictures and videos of my memories. The memories I had with the one I thought was the one, and then memories of the one who brings joy and love to my heart. Beautiful bearers of light and lesson. Floating across my field of vision.

And with wallops of letting go, in and out, in and out...I slowly began to drift off into my highest senses. I remember being in a parking lot with my mother. We were fighting and arguing about something, and I remember that old familiar feeling of wanting to be the most powerful in the conversation, wanting more control. I was feeling angry toward her, violent even, and I wanted to thrash out with my physical might. While feeling this, I walked toward the store and went in. The store seemed to be a kind of craft store. There were all kinds of artistical goodies like things you'd buy if you were into needlework, scrapbooking, drawing and painting. I felt like I was there to buy something for my friend Tina, who's an avid craftswomanaholic. I was looking at different kinds of needlework that she might like, when out of the corner of my eye I see a young boy. This boy seems to be around the age of ten or eleven physically, yet in his presence, I felt as though he were closer to his thirties. Like being in the presence of a young, handsome man. He caught me by surprise, because he began talking to me as if he was hitting on me. I was a bit confused and taken aback because he looked so young but acted as if he was alot older, and so he began asking me about what I was buying, and if I'd like to go for a coffee sometime. He was with an older gentleman as well, who looked as though he was his father, or the one taking care of him, and the man just looked at me and smiled as if to say, "oh boys will be boys!"

I smiled back, sighing, thinking to myself, I guess they come in all ages. And I just tried to ignore the boy. But the boy was persistent, and very inquistive of me. He kept asking me questions and pressing on, not in an annoying way, but in a way that was quite impressive to me. I began to look at him a little closer, and more deeply in the eyes, and as soon as I did this, he looked back at me and said "Stephanie"

"...you might first reach out for your OWN gatekeeper. This is a guide that will control the sort of entity that is allowed to come through to you; it will only allow loving, positive entities in. You can establish a sign, symbol or other form of identification as sort of a "password" for your gatekeeper."

I asked him how he knew my name, and he told me, "It's simple really, I'm psychic." And I laughed, but knew in my heart what he was saying was true.

Little did I know in my dream, that this was one of my spirit guides giving me the "password" that I set up for myself, telling my own spirit that this entity is a safe one. By saying my name "Stephanie" it reminded me that I knew this person, and that he knew me, and it was okay to proceed.

And so I felt myself becoming more trustworthy, more interested in what this boy had to offer me. He had a familiar light in his eyes, and all of a sudden I realized I could see his aura. It was blue. Surrounding him was a blue light and his eyes reflected the same beautiful hue.

He began to walk with me outside, flirting and laughing with me the entire way. He was flirting with me in a pure, whole hearted kind of way, asking me out for coffee, as if to mock the traditional systems of our day with the man approaching the woman with the typical line. Knowing that I knew full well those systems are tired and I have only to laugh at them at the end of the day. In doing this, he wanted me to warm up to him and begin to remember who he is. And so we got back in my car, my mother drove. We drove to a place, and he told us to stop. He asked me to get out of the car, and we both got out and sat on the pavement. While my mom waited in the car, we were both sitting cross legged, facing eachother on the pavement. I don't remember consciously everything that he was saying to me at that point, but I do remember him making me feel calm and centered. And after a little while, he proceeded to put his hand on my back. As soon as he did this, I felt my entire being fill with full, immaculate, bright white light. The centre of my core was beating and flowing in and out with this humongous strong white light and he told me that "These are your wings"

As soon as he said that, I remember feeling a bit scared all of a sudden, and I tried to tell him to stop. "Stop it...stop it..." but I said this softly, knowing that I didn't really mean it. Knowing that it was just my old belief systems that have been made to fear the light in the past were coming up and finally undone. As soon as I felt the fear flow through me, I remember feeling like he let had let go of the reins, and let me feel the massiveness of my own power. And so I began to let go. I began to feel the rich immaculate white light seep through every piece of my entire being, and I let it into every part that I knew I had. I opened up to it and to its entireity, and it was breathtakingly beautiful. I remember feeling it encapsulating me and feeling myself trusting in it and letting my fears go...letting it become me, and then, realizing that it has been me all along.

The light slowly came back to earth. And there the little boy was, smiling with tears in his eyes. Looking into me with those deep blues. As though to say, "now you know who you are, don't forget it. never forget."

And with that, we went back into the car, I remember hearing him making jokes and laughing. Me sitting beside him, speechless...feeling the aftermath of what I had just felt within myself. And then my cell phone rang. Uknown Name and Number And it was this angry man with a rusty sounding smoker's voice, and he was telling me how I had done something wrong! I did this to paige! And i thought to myself....whatever this man is talking about, I have no idea. And without judgment, I hung up on him. The little boy smiled at me and let me do what I needed to do. And we saw the man who seemed to be his guardian at the store, waiting for him at the next stop. I opened the door for the boy and gave him a big hug and a loving kiss on the cheek. He jumped out of the car and began acting like a little boy again, pretending to be broken as he limped toward his guardian, pretending that he had just done a big job and was so "exhausted"...and I remember looking at him and giving into fear again thinking "oh god...i did that to him!...is he okay??" And then I looked up at his guardian who was just smiling at the boy, with a smile of knowing on his face, like "come on...let's go now silly."

And with that, the little boy stopped pretending to limp and began running toward his guardian. And as he did, he looked back at me and gave a wink.

I woke up just then to the sound of my dad calling my name "Stephanie!...Stephanie! Are you up yet!?" And I jolted awake, "....Yep...Yes! Yes I am!"

Bzzzzzt. Bzzzzzt. My cell vibrated two seconds after that on my night table beside me. And there was my cousin Carly, texting me saying how she can't wait to talk to me again.

I always take the significance of what happens before and after my significant dreams as well. And I realized now that the two people in my waking life who have been my Spirit Guides for my entire life were the two people who woke me that morning. I have many more guiding me in this life, most definitely, but they are the most significant ones as of right now. And they were right there, to greet me to the waking dimension again.

I'm in awe of how powerful love is. It's the strongest force in the universe, and it's infinite. It will never run out and it will always be there. And it seems to come to you at the most beautiful moments when you find yourself needing it the most.

may love, god, spirit, buddha, jesus or erykah badu, whomever you choose to call it, bless you all.

Remember who you are. Remember your infinite power. Remember your infinite love.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!!!

I love you so very very much.

~Stephanie

Don't Come Back At All.

You couldn't stand seeing my true love
Because you don't know it within yourself.
So you took it away from me.


Who do you think you are? Running around leaving Scars. Collecting your jar of hearts. And tearing love apart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM

Don't come back to me.

Don't Come back At All.