On and On ...

My cipher keeps moving like a rolling stone.

This morning I awoke with a curiously beautiful feeling within my heart. And it was all due to the most wonderful dream. I do usually write down my dreams in my journal, but today, I felt as though it would be more appropriate to blog and let whoever wants to read these words settle within their hearts as well. When I have a wonderful experience, I can't help but want to share it. That is a grand part of our purpose in this journey, is it not?

Before drifting to dream works last night, I was engulfed in emotions of all kinds. Confusion, pains, sadness, curiousity, hopelessness, playfulness, longing, happiness, love. Like a movie reel playing across the top of my third eye, I was watching pictures and videos of my memories. The memories I had with the one I thought was the one, and then memories of the one who brings joy and love to my heart. Beautiful bearers of light and lesson. Floating across my field of vision.

And with wallops of letting go, in and out, in and out...I slowly began to drift off into my highest senses. I remember being in a parking lot with my mother. We were fighting and arguing about something, and I remember that old familiar feeling of wanting to be the most powerful in the conversation, wanting more control. I was feeling angry toward her, violent even, and I wanted to thrash out with my physical might. While feeling this, I walked toward the store and went in. The store seemed to be a kind of craft store. There were all kinds of artistical goodies like things you'd buy if you were into needlework, scrapbooking, drawing and painting. I felt like I was there to buy something for my friend Tina, who's an avid craftswomanaholic. I was looking at different kinds of needlework that she might like, when out of the corner of my eye I see a young boy. This boy seems to be around the age of ten or eleven physically, yet in his presence, I felt as though he were closer to his thirties. Like being in the presence of a young, handsome man. He caught me by surprise, because he began talking to me as if he was hitting on me. I was a bit confused and taken aback because he looked so young but acted as if he was alot older, and so he began asking me about what I was buying, and if I'd like to go for a coffee sometime. He was with an older gentleman as well, who looked as though he was his father, or the one taking care of him, and the man just looked at me and smiled as if to say, "oh boys will be boys!"

I smiled back, sighing, thinking to myself, I guess they come in all ages. And I just tried to ignore the boy. But the boy was persistent, and very inquistive of me. He kept asking me questions and pressing on, not in an annoying way, but in a way that was quite impressive to me. I began to look at him a little closer, and more deeply in the eyes, and as soon as I did this, he looked back at me and said "Stephanie"

"...you might first reach out for your OWN gatekeeper. This is a guide that will control the sort of entity that is allowed to come through to you; it will only allow loving, positive entities in. You can establish a sign, symbol or other form of identification as sort of a "password" for your gatekeeper."

I asked him how he knew my name, and he told me, "It's simple really, I'm psychic." And I laughed, but knew in my heart what he was saying was true.

Little did I know in my dream, that this was one of my spirit guides giving me the "password" that I set up for myself, telling my own spirit that this entity is a safe one. By saying my name "Stephanie" it reminded me that I knew this person, and that he knew me, and it was okay to proceed.

And so I felt myself becoming more trustworthy, more interested in what this boy had to offer me. He had a familiar light in his eyes, and all of a sudden I realized I could see his aura. It was blue. Surrounding him was a blue light and his eyes reflected the same beautiful hue.

He began to walk with me outside, flirting and laughing with me the entire way. He was flirting with me in a pure, whole hearted kind of way, asking me out for coffee, as if to mock the traditional systems of our day with the man approaching the woman with the typical line. Knowing that I knew full well those systems are tired and I have only to laugh at them at the end of the day. In doing this, he wanted me to warm up to him and begin to remember who he is. And so we got back in my car, my mother drove. We drove to a place, and he told us to stop. He asked me to get out of the car, and we both got out and sat on the pavement. While my mom waited in the car, we were both sitting cross legged, facing eachother on the pavement. I don't remember consciously everything that he was saying to me at that point, but I do remember him making me feel calm and centered. And after a little while, he proceeded to put his hand on my back. As soon as he did this, I felt my entire being fill with full, immaculate, bright white light. The centre of my core was beating and flowing in and out with this humongous strong white light and he told me that "These are your wings"

As soon as he said that, I remember feeling a bit scared all of a sudden, and I tried to tell him to stop. "Stop it...stop it..." but I said this softly, knowing that I didn't really mean it. Knowing that it was just my old belief systems that have been made to fear the light in the past were coming up and finally undone. As soon as I felt the fear flow through me, I remember feeling like he let had let go of the reins, and let me feel the massiveness of my own power. And so I began to let go. I began to feel the rich immaculate white light seep through every piece of my entire being, and I let it into every part that I knew I had. I opened up to it and to its entireity, and it was breathtakingly beautiful. I remember feeling it encapsulating me and feeling myself trusting in it and letting my fears go...letting it become me, and then, realizing that it has been me all along.

The light slowly came back to earth. And there the little boy was, smiling with tears in his eyes. Looking into me with those deep blues. As though to say, "now you know who you are, don't forget it. never forget."

And with that, we went back into the car, I remember hearing him making jokes and laughing. Me sitting beside him, speechless...feeling the aftermath of what I had just felt within myself. And then my cell phone rang. Uknown Name and Number And it was this angry man with a rusty sounding smoker's voice, and he was telling me how I had done something wrong! I did this to paige! And i thought to myself....whatever this man is talking about, I have no idea. And without judgment, I hung up on him. The little boy smiled at me and let me do what I needed to do. And we saw the man who seemed to be his guardian at the store, waiting for him at the next stop. I opened the door for the boy and gave him a big hug and a loving kiss on the cheek. He jumped out of the car and began acting like a little boy again, pretending to be broken as he limped toward his guardian, pretending that he had just done a big job and was so "exhausted"...and I remember looking at him and giving into fear again thinking "oh god...i did that to him!...is he okay??" And then I looked up at his guardian who was just smiling at the boy, with a smile of knowing on his face, like "come on...let's go now silly."

And with that, the little boy stopped pretending to limp and began running toward his guardian. And as he did, he looked back at me and gave a wink.

I woke up just then to the sound of my dad calling my name "Stephanie!...Stephanie! Are you up yet!?" And I jolted awake, "....Yep...Yes! Yes I am!"

Bzzzzzt. Bzzzzzt. My cell vibrated two seconds after that on my night table beside me. And there was my cousin Carly, texting me saying how she can't wait to talk to me again.

I always take the significance of what happens before and after my significant dreams as well. And I realized now that the two people in my waking life who have been my Spirit Guides for my entire life were the two people who woke me that morning. I have many more guiding me in this life, most definitely, but they are the most significant ones as of right now. And they were right there, to greet me to the waking dimension again.

I'm in awe of how powerful love is. It's the strongest force in the universe, and it's infinite. It will never run out and it will always be there. And it seems to come to you at the most beautiful moments when you find yourself needing it the most.

may love, god, spirit, buddha, jesus or erykah badu, whomever you choose to call it, bless you all.

Remember who you are. Remember your infinite power. Remember your infinite love.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!!!

I love you so very very much.

~Stephanie